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The rest of the night was a blur. The opening night party, the drinking, the congratulations, the toasts, the dancing. All of it seemed to blend together into one amazing, unreal evening.
With Shane by my side the entire time.
I know he had seen my surprise at Reagan’s comment. Because I hadn’t expected it at all. Being assigned that sense of ownership over something. A play’s success was largely attributed to the director and the producer. Not the stage manager. But Reagan clearly saw me as someone integral. Joanna too.
We were a team.
And at that thought, my guilt over continuing to look for other jobs only intensified. Would it really be a betrayal to leave them at the end of the show? My contract stated that I was only here for this production, but I was getting the feeling that Reagan and Joanna assumed I would be sticking around past that. And I wasn’t really doing that much to dispel that assumption.
I had a terrible suspicion that I was in deeper than I had intended.
“You doing OK?” Shane put a gentle finger on my forehead and I realized that I had been frowning so hard that there was a wrinkle there.
“Yeah.” I stared at him. He had been a perfect date all evening. And that was part of the problem. We were supposed to be casual. Casual didn’t dress up for an opening night and then spend all evening laughing and drinking with co-workers. I could feel the wrinkle deepen. It seemed like work wasn’t the only place where I was in over my head.
Downing my glass of champagne, I took the collar of Shane’s shirt in my hands and pulled him down towards me. His blue eyes went hot as I brushed my body against his.
“Let’s get out of here,” I murmured, my voice a husky whisper.
His hand slid around my waist. “Whatever you want.” He held me close. Intimately. But I didn’t want intimate. I wanted hot. I wanted out of control. I wanted casual. Right? Right. Because the thought of anything more made my throat feel uncomfortably tight. Because I had already gotten hurt allowing myself to think that I could balance the needs of a relationship and a job. I didn’t want to have to choose again.
Stepping away, I took his hand and tugged him towards the exit. He stopped me, his head tilted curiously.
“Don’t you want to say goodbye?” he asked, gesturing towards the other end of the room where Reagan and Joanna were talking with some of the cast.
I almost said yes. But then I remembered that I needed to be keeping my distance. From everyone. That way it wouldn’t hurt as much when I left. Which I was going to do. I had to. I didn’t have any other choice. Broadway was the goal, and as great as the Hole in the Wall Theatre was, it wasn’t a Broadway theatre.
“I’ll see them tomorrow.” I gave Shane’s hand another tug. “Come on,” I purred. “I want to check out your tool belt again.”
With a growl, Shane spun on his heel and was out the door in an instant. Instead of heading to the subway, he stuck his hand out into the street and grabbed us a cab.
“In a hurry?” I asked playfully as we climbed into the backseat.
He yanked me across the seat until my side was flush against his. He started down at me, and his expression was so hot I was surprised my clothes didn’t burst into flames.
“Damn right I’m in a hurry,” he said, and gave the cab driver the address.
It was the longest cab ride of my life. Having Shane’s hard, lean body pressed up against me was bad enough, but halfway through the trip his hands started getting antsy, sliding up and down my hips and even slipping under my shirt to draw circles across my stomach. Each time his hand got too low, a gasp would escape my lips, and he would give me a wicked grin that made me shiver with desire.
We barely made it inside the apartment before my shirt was off and his jacket was tossed across the room. Hauling me against him, Shane cupped my ass and lifted me so my legs were wrapped around his waist, the evidence of his desire pressing against me with delicious friction. He groaned as I locked my ankles behind his back, pulling myself even closer.
Kissing me deeply, he carried me through the apartment before tossing me onto the bed and spreading his body out on top of mine. God, the weight of him felt incredible, all that strength and muscle at my fingertips. I wrestled with the buttons on his shirt, getting only half of them undone before losing my patience and ripping the rest of it open. The sound of buttons scattering made Shane grin.
“Impatient?”
I wiggled underneath him. “Damn right I’m impatient.” I was nearly out of my skin with impatience. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” I informed him.
“I was just about to say the same.” And in a flash, my jeans were unbuttoned, unzipped, and whisked away.
I lay spread out on the bed in nothing more than a lacy thong, Shane on his knees above me, his unbuttoned jeans riding low on his hips. He stared at me and let out a ragged sigh.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful.”
I could have said the same, but I was speechless as I dragged my fingers down his rock-hard stomach, before dipping down into his briefs to find him hard and ready. He let his head drop back as I stroked him.
Sliding out from underneath him, I knelt in front of him on the bed. Then, I flashed him a wicked smile and took him into my mouth. His entire body tensed, his hands tangling in my hair.
“Oh god. Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned.
I drew him deeper, my tongue tracing the length of him, tasting the intrinsic taste of male, that intoxicating scent, and lost myself in the power I took in giving him pleasure. I felt his hands tighten before he gripped my shoulders and pulled me up against his body, his mouth slamming down on mine.
“You first, remember?” he ordered, pushing me back on the bed and settling between my thighs. “I love these,” he commented, drawing his finger along the waist of my tiny lace thong. He kissed my belly button. “But they have to go.”
He got no complaints from me. In fact, I lifted my hips to help him.
With a wicked grin, he tossed them over his shoulder, but before they could even hit the floor, his mouth was on me.
“Shane,” I moaned, my hands reaching down to grip the sheets as if they could keep me from spiraling away.
I felt his smile against my inner thigh as one long, calloused finger found my clit, circling it with just the right amount of pressure. My toes curled. Then his tongue replaced his finger, tasting me with long, deep strokes as his hands held my knees apart.
It wasn’t enough.
“I want you inside me,” I rasped.
“Not yet,” Shane murmured, one finger slipping inside, and then another. He drew them in and out slowly, his tongue teasing me, as I rocked my hips forward. I was completely lost in the sensation, my body undulating out of control, my release building and building and then—
I came, a hoarse cry torn from my throat as I shuddered against the sheets, Shane’s tongue and touch never letting up. Then he withdrew, but only for a moment, and before I could bring my legs together again, he was between them, his cock sheathed in latex.
With one smooth thrust he was inside me, making both of us gasp. He held himself there for a moment, my body adjusting to his size, and then he began to move. At first he was slow and even, the movement of his hips languid.
“More,” I groaned, digging my fingers into his rock-hard biceps. “More.”
But he ignored me, keeping the pace, deliberate and determined. A bead of sweat appeared on his brow, and I knew he was doing all he could to keep from coming.
I wrapped my legs around him, high on his back so when he thrust into me, he went deep. So deep. And then his control broke.
He began to fuck me faster and faster, his hips flexing against mine. I felt another climax building inside me, and I was close, so damn close. Shane thrust into me, his breathing ragged, his teeth clenched. Then he shifted, leaned closer, and the new angle was everything I needed.
I exploded, crying out, my nails digging into his skin, stars exploding behind my eyes. Then, with another l
ong, deep stroke, Shane followed, his release shuddering through him as he braced himself on his arms above me before collapsing, his face buried against my neck.
Chapter 25
ALLIE
Chewing on my nails, I scanned the crowd, looking for familiar faces. I had gotten the text that they had landed, but until I saw Josh and Emily, I wasn’t fully convinced that I had actually managed to get them out to New York.
I was vibrating with unfocused excitement. The morning had started out in a fantastic fashion. I had woken up next to a wonderfully naked Shane, only to be pulled into his embrace for a repeat of the previous evening’s orgasm-inducing activities. I was still tingling all over from the way his mouth and fingers had made me shudder with pleasure.
And then, if things couldn’t have gotten better, I got a call from one of the jobs I had applied to, telling me they were very, very interested in hiring me for a production that was going to start out of town with the hopes of moving to Broadway. They wanted to meet, but made it very clear that the job was mine for the taking.
If I wanted it. Which of course I did. Sure, it meant leaving New York again, but that would only be temporary. I’d be back in a few months. I’d have to say goodbye to Joanna and Reagan and everyone at the Hole in the Wall Theatre, but at the end of the day, that had been a job, and I had walked away from jobs and friendly co-workers before. Even though I didn’t just think of them as co-workers any more.
And there was Shane. What would happen once I was out of the apartment? Would we continue seeing each other? Would we even have time to carry on with whatever it was we were doing?
All of those things nudged at me, but not enough to dim my happiness about the job offer. And none of them could diminish my excitement in seeing my brother and niece in my favorite city in the world.
People streamed past me, but I didn’t see any gap-toothed stage manager wannabes. And then, coming through down the corridor, I saw Emily riding high on Josh’s shoulders. It was as if she was floating above the crowd, and I knew exactly when she spotted me because she held out her arms.
Running over to them, I hugged Josh and took Emily in my arms, holding her tight. She had gotten so big. So tall. Guilt nudged me in the form of my mother’s voice. If you were in Nebraska, it said, you wouldn’t miss out on these growth spurts.
“I can’t believe you guys are here,” I said, holding Emily’s face in my hands.
She wrinkled up her nose and stuck her tongue out at me.
“I got to watch a PG-13 movie on the plane,” she told me.
I glanced up at Josh, who shrugged. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”
I shook my head. “You’re a terrible influence on her.”
He put his hand to his chest. “I’m sorry, are you saying the uncle that paid for his niece to fly first-class to New York and stay at the hotel from the books is a terrible influence?”
“The hotel from the books?”
Emily pulled out a hardcover children’s book from her backpack. “The Plaza!” she showed me. “It’s famous.”
“It certainly is.” I ruffled her hair and looked back up at my brother. “I told you I would pay for your flights and hotel.” Though there was no way I could have afforded the luxuries of first class and a stay at the Plaza.
But Josh brushed it off. “I have plenty of money,” he reminded me. And he did. He had been very smart with his minor-league salary, investing and saving most of it. “I think spoiling my nieces and nephews is a good use of it.”
We headed towards the subway. “Are the others jealous that Emily got to come to New York?” I asked, feeling bad that only one of them was getting this opportunity.
Josh snorted. “Are you kidding? They all got new Xboxes and a ton of other toys. They’re thrilled to be staying home.” He picked up Emily again, swinging her onto his back. “OK, Emmy-bean, let’s hit the town. Where to first?”
Our first stop was to the hotel to drop off their things. Even though I had lived in New York during college, I had never set foot inside the Plaza Hotel, so all of us experienced the same wide-eyed awe together. It was beautiful—just like in the books. I couldn’t believe how beautiful it was.
When we got to the room, Emily made a diving leap for the bed, bouncing up and down on the enormous mattress. Josh had rented a suite, with an extra bed for me.
“In case you wanted to have a sleepover one night,” Emily explained to me.
“That sounds great,” I told her, already excited for the time I was going to spend with my two favorite people.
But even though Josh had put on a happy face, I could still see the pain and stress behind his eyes. I didn’t want to say anything in front of Emily, so I pretended not to notice while we hit the town. We started the day off at the Natural History Museum.
We explored for hours, going to see the planetarium show and the big blue whale above the ocean mammal exhibit. We snacked on astronaut ice cream and bought Emily’s siblings and cousins T-shirts from the museum store. But Emily’s favorite part was the hour we spent looking at dinosaur bones.
“I loooooove dinosaurs,” Emily was saying as I bundled her up in her coat as we were leaving. “And those were some big dinosaurs.”
“They sure were,” Josh agreed, shoving a hat down on his head. It hadn’t started snowing yet, but I had a feeling it was just around the corner. “If Aunt Allie was a dinosaur, what kind of dinosaur do you think she would be?” he asked Emily, hunkering down next to her and wrapping her scarf around her neck.
She frowned with concentration.
“She’d be the one that bumps into other dinosaurs,” she finally said after much deliberation. “With the round thing on its head.”
“A pachycephalosaurus?” I looked down at her curiously. “That’s an interesting choice. Why did you pick that?”
“Because Grandma says you’ve got a strong head!” she told me. “And also you’re ob-stan-knit.”
Headstrong and obstinate. Great. Always good to know that my parents were bad-mouthing me in front of my nieces and nephews. At least they were expanding their vocabulary in the process.
Laughing, Josh put his hand over Emily’s mouth. She pretended to bite him. “You know what dinosaur I think you’d be?” he asked. “An Emmy-saurus!” He tickled her and she giggled.
Straightening, he put his arm around me. “Come on, my dear pachycephalosaurus. Let’s get you a drink.”
We spent the rest of the day exploring famous parts of the city, walking through Central Park, looking at the just-decorated tree in Rockefeller Center, and finally overloading my niece on sugar at Serendipity. By the time we got back to the hotel, it was only eight o’clock, but Emily had already passed out in the cab and Josh had to carry her upstairs.
Tucking her into her bed, I pushed the hair back from her forehead and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Guilt gnawed at me again, but I ignored it, and went back into the main part of the suite to interrogate my brother.
As if he had been waiting for it, Josh handed me a glass of whiskey before taking a sip of the generous amount he had poured for himself. Was that another thing I had to talk to him about? I sat down on the chaise lounge while he looked out the window at the city sparkling all around us.
“I really am glad you’re here,” I told him, taking a sip of the liquor and coughing when it burned my throat. I put it down on the coffee table.
Josh glanced over his shoulder. “Just say it,” he told me. “Let’s get it over with.”
No preamble? Fine. Bring it, big brother.
“What is going on with you, Josh?” I asked, very concerned now. This wasn’t like him at all. I could practically see the tension in his shoulders, which were bunched up under his ears.
“If I said I didn’t want to talk about it, would you let it go?” he asked, then sighed when he took a look at my face. “OK, OK. Life kind of sucks right now, Allie. That’s what’s going on with me. It sucks. I can’t play baseball and I don’t know how
to do anything else.”
My heart ached for him. He looked so sad and lost. But I was pretty sure the last thing he needed or wanted right now was pity. And I imagined that was what he was getting at home. A bunch of people who loved him but who were coddling him. Letting him do a whole lot of nothing and pretending that it was making him better. It wasn’t. He needed someone to give him a kick in the ass.
“So learn how to do something else,” I said bluntly. I was more than capable of being that kick in his ass.
He gave me a look, and for a moment I was afraid I had overstepped. But then he offered a weak smile. “Isn’t there a saying about old dogs and not learning new things?”
“You’re hardly an old dog,” I told him. “You’re only twenty-eight.”
“Yeah, but look at you.” He gestured in my direction. “You’ve always known what you wanted to do. And now you’re doing it.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking unusually introspective. “I’m really proud of you, you know.”
I was nearly knocked off my feet by the emotion coming from him. We were an affectionate family, close and supportive, but this was different. I had no idea Josh felt that way about me. That he thought of what I did in that way.
But the warm feeling I got was short lived as Josh turned back to the window, his free hand clenching into a fist.
He took a drink. A long one. “I wanted to play baseball. That’s it. And now that I can’t anymore, I . . . I . . . I don’t know.”
“You’ll figure something out,” I said, even though it was an empty platitude.
Because I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what he should do. I would have no idea what to do if I was in his position. If I had to walk away from theatre. It would be horrible. The mere thought of doing that gave me a stabbing sensation in my chest. Ugh. I stood up and came to stand next to him at the window.
“Maybe Nebraska isn’t the best place to do that,” I suggested.
“Maybe,” he acquiesced. “But at least I’ve got family there.”
“You’ve got family here,” I told him, putting my hand on his shoulder. On the shoulder that had been injured. I could feel the way his muscles flinched under my touch and the way his jaw tightened. I quickly pulled back.